Remembering it's one small world

So this morning I was using the elipticle, listening to a podcast, starring at a bookshelf. On one of the shelfs sat our three travel books from our trip to Italy. It brought back to me one of the things that I found most amazing. Sure the the canals in Venice were awesome, the vatican was incredible, and the coliseum was way cool, but it's the little things that I I can find most amazing.

The fact that I could walk up to an ATM a block from st Pauls square and put my card, punch in my pin number and get the currency of the land is AMAZING. That I could walk up to a small cafe on the side streets of Venice and hand them my visa is AMAZING. It was a little thing, but I was so thankful for it. It really brought out to me how small the world has become.

Another moment from the same trip that I found cool was we were in the town square of a small German village and our friend j.d.o. called his German mother in Richmond, va to tell her where he was. WAY COOL!

Maybe you may not be amazed but I was, so poo poo on you.

Happy thanksgiving

Happy thanksgiving world.....wait make that happy thanksgiving America. So today is one of the three days each year that our pharmacy is totally closed. No worries today just sit back and chill. Well not so much I guess. There's thanksgiving service at church at ten, then the first thanksgiving feast with my wife's family at 3, then across town for another feast with my family at 6. I can feel the stuffing pushing back up already. Every year i say I'll pace myself so I can look like I'm eating a lot but still have room for the second house. Don't get me wrong I don't mind doing the two house hop but don't call it a day off.

I made pies for both houses, pumpkin and coconut cream. Rolling out the dough for the pumpkin pie crust made me feel like part of my italian heritage was coming out. My grandmothers sister and her husband lived in Trieste, italy and ran a bakery there, which I visited as a kid. Since I don't like olives, perhaps this can be my cultural connection.

The pies look pretty good, but the test will come when we actually get to dig in to them later.

Bring on the parades and football.

To tell the truth and warn the world

Okay I can't tell a lie. Okay that's a lie, but I'm going to tell the truth and warn the world about a true danger.

I am having fun writing this blog even if no one reads it. I really like to write it on my wife's iPad. It makes it easy to type anywhere including where I do some of my best thinking, on the toilet. That's right I wrote my last blog about the leaves in my yard while going toity. Okay maybe you think that's disgusting and perhaps I will not live to see another day after she finds out where her iPad has gone (she will probably requesting a new iPad as soon as she sees this), but at least I'm honest. And why would I be honest or even bring this subject up, because I must warn all you iPad users out there.

If you use your iPad while doing your business, do not stand up to fast. I guarantee that more time has passed which you have been sitting there than you think and the likelihood of utter and complete foot sleep is assured. Such was my dilemma. After finishing up I went to pull up my drawers and fell against the wall. My right leg was dead from mid-thigh down. I could have died if I hadn't caught with myself with my face. iPads should come with some sort of toilet warning, although I doubt they care as I'm sure they have some sort of bathroom warranty clause.

Just a little warning.

Oh and don't pretend like you don't read or text or do other things while you're sitting there. I know you do. Don't ask me how I know but you and I both know you do now don't we?

Why do I even try?

It's Tuesday morning. My day off for having just worked the weekend. Time to get stuff done. I start with some exercise, 30 minutes on the elliptical. Followed by a quick trip to starbucks for an iced mocha. Back by 8:30, late enough to start yard work without pissing off the neighbors. Today, just 2 days to thanksgiving, I shall get up all the leaves out of my yard and make my yard the envy of my neighbors.

What was I thinking?

I looked at the forecast, sunny high of 72 with possible afternoon showers. Great I'll get it all done in the morning then when it starts to rain in the afternoon I won't feel bad heading in to play wow.

Stupid David. Stupid.

I like to mow up my leaves catching them in the bag and then place them into the woods in back of the house. Raking is just too back breaking for my large yard and while I have a leaf blower I stink at using it. Leaves flying everywhere. It usually takes twice as long. No I'm going to mow them up. I put in my ear buds turn on a podcast and go to town. Round and round in ever smaller circles to catch every leaf.

An hour and a half later success. Now off to the grocery store for pie ingredients for my portion of the thanksgiving meal and then some wow time.

When a forecast goes from sunny to showers in a day what does that mean? That's right a front must be moving through to make it happen. And what does a front bring? Wind. And today's brought some very strong gusts. As I returned home I was horrified to see my yard looking as if I hadn't been there at all. All my hard work gone. I instantly blamed my wife and the dog who both denied any part of the mess. No it's was mother nature that old bag. She had blown down all the remaining leaves from the trees as well as depositing most of the ones from my neighbors yard onto mine.

What was I thinking? Procrastination with leaf pick up is the only logical way to go. I'll just let these stay there until spring. To heck with the yard. I'm done!

Mother nature you win again.

richmond's hula-hoop scene

so i just got back from my morning starbucks run.  as i traveled down the road with my radio tuned to the local sports radio channel i learned something new about the city i call my home.  i heard an ad from one of our cities strip clubs announcing they would be hosting a playboy playmate as she participated in as they called it "richmond's hottest topless hula-hoop challenge."  ummmm really?

apparently i've been missing something here in richmond.  there must be some sort of underground hula-hoop league.  how else could they be calling this the "hottest?"  if i'm not incorrect when you add ..est to the end of a word you imply that the following words are in some way a degree better than others that may be similar.  are there really enough topless hula-hoop competitions to be able to call this one the "hottest?" how many could there be?  there aren't that many strip clubs in the area as far as i know (and no it is not from experience).

ahh perhaps i have misinterpreted the statement.  maybe this is the hottest topless hula-hoop challenge because they keep the competition area at roasty, toasty  95 degrees.  i doubt other strip clubs would be so bold as to keep there establishments that hot.

so a warning to the world, be prepared  to show proof of your statements,  we don't have enough time in our busy lives for some low rate un-hot topless hula-hoop challenges.

alton brown look away

now before i add a picture to this blog i need to warn my favorite food tv host alton brown to look away.

okay now i can show the rest of you the most useless kitchen unitasker yet created.

for all those families that need to make only cupcakes. 

i'm a big fan of good eats and alton brown, but like him i don't get the point of kitchen unitaskers.  i understand that there are a very few kitchen tasks that can only be done by very specific unitaskers, but really a self contained cupcake shaped cupcake maker.  don't you think the rest of the world laughs at us when they see stupid excess such as this. 

my starbucks annoyance

I like Starbucks. In fact I have one about three times a week. I don't mind paying a premium for a coffee, and neither do millions of other Americans. I know with that premium price you should expect for it to be made correct. I have no problem with that what I have a problem with is the sbx customer who has a recipe list order of their own special drink just the way they like.

You know who they are. They get to the front of the line and spout off a list as long as your arm to make one cup of coffee.

" yes I'll take a venti soy two splenda non fat extra hot no foam two shot latte with three pumps of vanilla and one pump Carmel with chocolate drizzle and dash of sea salt on top."

And then what really blows my mind is when they do all that and it's a tall (small) instead of a venti (large).

The biggest question I have is how do they come up with these combinations to know that it will even be drinkable. At what point in your life do you feel it necessary to try every possible combination of sbx ingredients to come up with your signature drink.  Is this some year long process during which tedious, copious notes are taken and analyzed on a daily basis.  Formulations are run through comprehensive tests on viscosity, acidity, color, aroma, taste and then finally but most importantly uniqueness.  Or as I believe is truly the way, they just pull it out of their ass on the fly.

Now I know that sbx gives you this option. You can have your drink any way you want it, but why would you even try. I know there are those out there who have special diet needs and that is why soy or non-fat are options, but that is not who I am talking about here.  I am talking about my rage that comes out when one of these people who have a need to feel special in there life and can only get that by how they order thier coffe start talking.

I know it's a stupid thing to find so annoying, but i just don't get it.  I really don't.  I get freedom of expression and all that but defining yourself through the practice of altering a cup of coffe is just not an idea I can get on board with.

I demand a refund

I'm not going to lie my English is not the best, and I can't spell worth a shit. Even with that out there on the table I would like a refund on my tax dollars for every time I here an American with a high school diploma pronounce the word "ask" as "axe". I feel like every where I went today I heard it.

"She didn't axe me to go."

"Did I axe you if you wanted paper or plastic?"

"Let me axe my manager."

Why don't you go hit your manager with a heavy blade at the end of a shaft just to find out if you have any peaches. That sounds like an outstanding course of action. Let me know how it goes so I can come the the trial with my bag of peaches.

mcdonald's world wide menu

my wife and i visited her family in hawaii this past summer.  i love hawaii, but don't think i could live there.  but who cares about that. what i want to talk about is the menu at the worlds favorite fast food chian mcdonalds. 

i rarely and i mean very rarely go to the micd's for breakfast, but i have in the past had there breakfast meal that includes pancakes, eggs, sausagea and a hash brown. it is standard and bland and boring.

while on oahu the place we were staying was very close to a mickey d's, and low and behold they had an awesome breakfast.  there the breakfast combo comes with of course eggs but then it has white rice, spam and portuguese sausage. it was so refreshing, if you can call a fast food breakfast refreshing.

it got me thinking why don't they try and bring some menu items that differ around the world and have them as special limited time items. or have a world menu that you can order from. i don't know what else is on their menus from around the world but im sure there is a portion of america that would like to try stuff and see what its like.

please ronald give me spam in my breakfast please. or goat or lamb or whatever some of the 6 billion other people in the world in your restaurants might be munching on.

Letter of concern

My dearest mrs Hornsweagle

I am writing to thank you for your invitation to join you at your county estate for the spring. I would love to join you but must regret to inform you that I will be unable to come. Our neighbor the widow crimpers has come down with a case of the gout for which I see no end, and at her advanced age of sixty-three she needs my constant attention.

I was sorry to hear that Henry has once again come down with the consumption. I'm sure as are you that it has something to do with that awful orphan girl he has been seen in the company of. A girl like that with no proper upbringing shouldn't be allowed near theaters in the first place let alone to actually mingle with society.

I will look after your affairs her until your return.

Your sincerely
Mrs Lanard Wrinklebottom

fall back time change so weird

most people on this day of the year are so happy that they've gained an hour as we set the clocks back in the middle  of the night it means hey get to sleep an hour longer.  we for me it just feels weird, my body always gets me up at 6 am whether i have to or not. so on this sunday morning i am up at 5 am and even more than other sunday mornings nothing will happen for hours.

so i am writing this post to all you out there who like me, who have bodies that just don;t allow them to sleep in. to all those who wake and minds start planning out the day making it impossible to drift back into slumber. to all those that find themselves at a starbucks before they open; yes it can happen especially on this particular time change sunday; where the world decides to hit the snooze button leaving those early risers to sit and blog by themselves.

good morning world see you when you get up.

an apology to the red sox nation

as the 2010 major league baseball season has just come to a close with the winning of the san francisco giants in the world series, i feel i need to take a moment and apologize to my fellow brethern of the red sox nation.  i'm sorry the red sox did not win the world series this year.  it was obviously my fault and i except respnsiblity the baseball gods have put upon me. let me explain.

again this year as we did last year, paige and i traveled from richmond, va to boston to see the red sox play at fenway (and just have a great time in a great city but thats another blog).  last year we saw the sox beat the devil rays (yeah thats right i said devil rays)  and this year we were there to see them give a beat down to moyer and the phillies.  now as should be obvious, the sox win each and every time we are at the game.  this cannot be coincidence as my sample size of 2 shows.  therefore i am sorry to my fellow red sox fans that this power has been put on another fan that unfortunatly lives so far away from boston.  this was not a power we asked for. however we would be willing to accept any donations to move us to boston or some great job offers. until then we will do our best to support the sox as often as we can and pray that the sox are able to win a few on their own with out us int the stands in order to get once agian to the promise land.

what are you barking at pooch?

so i have to take a second to apologize to my pooch, gizmo.  for a couple weeks i would be woken up by giz randomly barking in the middle of the night.  i would stumble around the house half asleep checking for intruders.  this happened night  after night for several weeks and each night i could find nothing inside the house or out.  finally giz would bark and i would yell "there's nothing there stupid pooch go back to sleep!" but still night after night bark bark bark.  then on one lucky night giz barked and i heard something to.  i recognized the sound of the trash can lid outside the back door.  i walked through the dark house to the back door and flipped on the flood lights to be greeted by gizmos nemesis.

i'm sorry for doubting you little pooch. 

that's not how you burp the baby

so my niece being strangled by my brother is over a year old now, but i always laugh whenever i see this picture.  apparently this is the new way to burp a baby that he was taught by the nurse in the hospital when she was born.  i guess it was okay because as of a few hours ago when i saw her her head was still attached even though it looked like he was trying to pop it off. 

worst mascot ever?

at our pharmacy we have open houses a couple times a year. last year the virginia diner peanut company brought their mascot costume.  yikes!  mr. peanut he is not. nothing says fine snack food like a large amorphous tan blob dressed in overalls.

commercials ruining my view

now in years past i wouldn't have thought twice about this security fence, but now thanks to viagra and cialis commercials my view on the world has been ruined.