The coffee cup flaw

So I am relaxing on my day off after doing my yard work, flipping channels as usual when i have a realization, I hate coffee cups on television. There are two cups that I hate, the quarter filled mug and the empty take out.

How often do people ask for a refill of coffee on television and all that gets poured is a quarter of a cup. Is there a coffee shortage in make-believe land? Is it rude to pour a full cup? Are actors just too damn clumsy to handle a full cup. Is there something I don't know about coffee, like the flavor multiples 1/4 cup at a time or the Stockholm convention on coffee mandates the 1/4 cup tv portion.

More aggravating to me though is the empty coffee take out cup. It is so obvious when you see this, the cup has no heft to it. Sure coffee isn't the heaviest item, but it does have some weight to it. Actors are tossing them around, tilting them over, basically smacking me in the face with the fact there is no java in that hot beverage transportation device.

Just something I was thinking of.


Xtencio

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New etsy listings

Just listed a bunch of new items in my etsy shop, DESULTORIOUS












Xtencio

Visit my etsy shop Desultorious at
http://www.etsy.com/shop/xtencioart?ref=si_shop

An unfortunate letter

Dear mrs mcgilaguty

It is my misfortune to have to inform you of the death of you beaver. He died a heroes death at the hands of two escapees from the green mountain home for the criminally insane. The remains of you departed will be shipped to your home after an autopsy is completed. A finer beaver and pet I cannot think of. Please give my condolences to your great uncle Benjamin, I know that he will have great sorrow and will need you more than ever.

Stenson J Pengongton
Commissioner of Beaver Resources, Bimwell County




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Puppy report

It's been two weeks since his surgery and Gizmo's broken jaw seems to be doing better. He has returned to his thrown laying on the back of the couch. I know he's feeling better, because he just barked at me to go out. Yes your highness. I live to serve you.


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Here birdie birdie

Why does it always look like someone had a birdseed fight after I fill the feeders?



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Watching

So now that the olympics have come to an end, my television must be filled. So what am I watching now?

I'm a sucker for Storage Wars. I hate all the people on it and know that it may be faked, yet I still li e to watch.

Burn Notice on USA is a must watch, as I myself use to be a spy myself.

Sorry I got distracted and was craving some chocolate, but alas the cupboards were bare, of chocolate that is. Had to settle for some herb cheese spread thingy I found.

Back to this list....hmmmm..I think my left big toe may be bigger than the right. Is that a problem? Should I worry? It seems to have more hair too. Oh well. Back to the tv quandary.

Man I wish I had a peanut butter cup. How late is too late to make a munchy run when your 39 years old and not in an altered state of mind?

Oh sweet Indepence Day is on.

The Big Bang Theory is a must record and watch.....how deep is to deep for a bellybutton? I think mine may be about to open out my back. But if it does I wouldn't have as much lint in it.

Wait I think there are some chocolate chips in the baking cabinet. YES! And a jar of peanut butter in the pantry.

Okay Internet peoples you go away now. I need some alone time with my spoon.

Why hello there

I was wandering through a home improvement warehouse store this morning, minding my own business, considering buying items I would never use, when I heard something. I couldn't tell what it was but it was down at the end of the aisle. Past the weed eaters and chainsaws, then I heard it again but this time I understood what I had heard.

"Hey you! Yeah you."

In the midst of a plethora of shovels, hoes, rakes and other implements of destruction, a half sized rake spoke to me.

"Imagine all the piddling in the yard you could get done with me at your side"

I really wasn't looking for a rake today, but he went on to tell me all the advantages of owning him would be including the yard that would be the envy of the neighborhood, I would regrow hair, I may even be elected president. How could I resist?

"And look I'm only $9.69"

Less than ten dollars who can resist a great new life for such a low price. So I slowly lifted my new friend from perch and proudly stroud to the registers.

Minutes after I got home Rake jr, as he insists on being called, got to work in the yard. After only 5 minutes the results began to show. How did I live my life for so long without you Rake jr?

Only problem now is he is insisting with his constant smile that he should live in the house instead of the shed for easy access and work at a moments notice. I don't think the wife will see all of Rake jr's charm and magnetism.



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An Olympic sunday

I find myself at the in-laws watching the Olympics yet again, this time on their 60 inch television. What do I chose to watch on the massive hd marvel (compared to my tv)? Why Italy vs Russia in women's volleyball of course. I really have an olympic addiction. I am not looking forward to the withdrawals I'm facing once they put out that flame. I think I need a quick intervention, but I know it won't work. I will not give up my olympic coverage. Oh look track cycling I should watch all of this too.

End of my birthday

My birthday ended with a flourish last night, but not really as I expected. We were watching the Olympics playing with the dogs when the two dogs found themselves in a tight corner next to each other. Gizmo the shih tzu, still isn't sure about gadget, the pit bull, so when gizmo realized that he was underneath gadget he must have panicked or snapped at him. The next thing I know they are both flailing around trying to get away from each other. At some point gizmo with his bulging eyeballs got hit in the eye. The white of his left eye started to fill with blood, so we all went to the emergency veterinarian at 10:30pm.

When we got there they took giz in the back to be evaluated, and paige, gadget and I sat in the waiting room. After a few minutes the vet came out and told us that he seemed to be doing okay, they had given him pain medication, we would have to give him eye drops and he would have to wear a cone for at least a week, but mostly what I remember was her telling us we needed to watch because with injuries like this some dogs are susceptible to having there eye pop out of there head. Yeah I may have to bring my dog right back if I find his eyeball dangling.

She went back to do a few more tests, but while we were waiting several other people brought their pooches in. There was a bulldog who had hives from a vaccine he had gotten earlier in the day. A group of hipsters brought in a dog they found to see if it had a chip which it did not so the took it home with them until an owner could be located. A middle aged, upper class man brought his dog in which he said had been bitten on the snout by a copperhead. The best though was the older very talkative couple, who brought in their lab mix puppy that had gotten a fish hook through his lower lip.

We brought giz home about 12:30am with his cone of shame, and he has been sleeping a bunch thanks to some nice pain medications they prescribed him. Gadget seems very interested in gizmo, perhaps knowing that he is hurt. I might have to ask for a redo on the end of my birthday day though.



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Birthday

So I have been a lazy slug for my birthday not unlike my dogs



I have spent the day doing one of my favorite things, watching the Olympics. I'm a sucker for human competition. I love it. Today I've watched women's soccer, tennis, shooting, women's water polo, rowing and am currently watching the women's 10,000 meter track race.


I'm gonna need the olympics not to end mmmmkkkaay? Thanks

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Who needs context?

.....and that's why the door knob smelled that way.
.....so I rolled over, brushed off the dirt and ate a pancake.
.....and it turned out there were seventeen nickels shoved in there.
.....he limped away and I finished eating my ice cream cone.
.....I told him it tasted like curry and the bird just flew away.
.....but he never let it touch the floor after that.
.....it was the second time in three days and she smelled it for weeks afterwards.
.....and she says "I didn't think they were toll house morsels."
.....if his finger hadn't been I there she could have lost her leg.
.....she said she couldn't stand it anymore and buried it with the hamster.
.....he looked like Bradley cooper but it smelled like sour fish.
.....but it's not as if she didn't know the gnome was in the bathroom.
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